Stuff

This past weekend was a difficult one.  There's no doubt that none of this is easy, but getting rid of things that meant something to someone is hard.  These are things my mom treasured, things she worked for...

We were in Columbia trying to pack up some things.  There is just so.much.stuff.  My mom was a self professing pack rat.  Every time I was having a yard sale, she would ask if there was anything she wanted.  I would tell her no and we would joke about how one day I'd just have to get rid of it all over again.  I wish that "one day" hadn't come so soon...

There are things we are keeping, things that are going to charity, things that are going to help others.  I feel good about that.  I believe she would want to help someone start over.  I pray her stuff will go to a woman leaving an abusive relationship, a family who's been burned out, to people whose need is raw and real.  

But (isn't there always one?) loading her stuff and dropping it at a donation site is emotional.  This little bench is one she bought for her grandkids.  So when the donation team at Goodwill took it away, my heart hurt.  I stood and watched, wanting to tell them they couldn't have it.  But I didn't, not at first.  I fought tears as we drove away and throughout most of lunch at Fatz  (the waitstaff must have thought I was crazy), but I finally admitted to Donnie what was bothering me.  So when we left, we went back to Goodwill and asked for the bench back (pretty sure they thought I was crazy too).  They had to chase it down from the sales floor, but they were kind enough to let me have it.  Now it sits in my classroom, and every time my students have read or written this week around the room, someone has chosen this little bench.  

I'm pretty sure she would be happy about that too.

New Friends

This precious lady is a new friend to my family and to Corey.  She is just the nicest person and I have enjoyed the two visits I have had with her.  Last week she and her husband came to church with us and we had the joy of having lunch with them.  This week they ate with our family as we celebrated Corey's birthday.  As we were sitting in church the thought came to me that she is the nicest person I wish I didn't know.

It is totally nothing personal; as I said they are wonderful and I'm enjoying their friendship. You see, our meeting was born in tragedy.  Paula was one of the first people on the scene in the wreck that killed my mom.  She and her husband had arrived in South Carolina from Texas only days before, and she was actually looking at houses with her realtor when she came upon it.  She was there when I could not be.  She did not leave Corey until we got to the hospital - insisting on riding to the hospital with him, shielding him from things no one should have to see at 13 or any age, keeping him calm.  I will forever be grateful for her, for the way she ministered to my son that awful day.  I'm so amazed at how God works, because not only did he send us a precious lady to help our son, he sent a sister in Christ.  Worshipping with her and her husband these two weeks blessed my heart, because as hard as this is, I know God has a plan.  I love to watch people worship, truly giving their focus to God and as I've done that, I think it's cool that not only is she a sister in Christ, she gets us.  Worshipping with hands held high in a "not so traditional" church was not a foreign thing to her.  I so love that!  I'm thankful that God has brought us together in this difficult phase, and I know he is going to do great things in all of us.

Great Loss

With life at warp speed, a return to teaching a few years back, and now 5 kids (my nephew has come to live with us) my blog has fallen by the wayside.  I also found that many people who read my blog were just easier to keep up with on Facebook.  As many of you know, though, my mom passed away as the result of a car accident last week and now I need a place to process.  I know...this is the internet, this is public...but I hope that this will, in some way, help others.  So here goes...

And yet, where do I start?

Mom and Corey developed a bond over stargazing at the beach just this month.  They were, in fact, heading to the planetarium when the accident occurred.  Tonight as we were returning home from a trip, he started telling me the things she told him about stars.  Then we started looking to see if we could find Mars, which is what they did at the beach.  I could hear him crying in the seat behind me, and all I could think was, "How could they have sat out at the beach 3 short weeks ago on a Friday night like this one looking at these same stars?"  When we got home we got out the telescope and tried to find Mars.  He told me he borrowed the telescope so she could look with him, and yet there I was...not her.  Oh how my heart hurts for him, for all of us...for the time that was stolen and all that should have been.  

I don't really even know how to end this, and I'm sure there's more to come...