Faith. Doubt.
Helpful. Helpless.
Past. Present.
Is. Was.
Unreal. Too real.
Having all the right answers. Having no answers at all.
These are all the things we've experienced this week as my brother-in-law, Jay, died tragically on Sunday. I have begged God to go before us and been unable to pray at all. I have had faith that God is with us and doubted Him all the same. I have seen such helpfulness in the midst of helplessness. I have said was instead of is. I have wished for the past instead of the present. I have known that even though this is unreal, it is all too real. And I have known all the right answers, but really have had none at all.
I have watched my sister-in-law lose her best friend and my nieces lose their father. I have seen grown men and women reduced to sobs and I've seen expressions of tenderness from people who never struck me as tender. I have watched preachers cry and admit that it is okay to ask God why. And even though I have spent my last few days finding clothes for a funeral, ordering flowers and saying goodbye, I have yet to believe that Jay is really gone.
To know Jay was to love him. He was infectiously funny, caring and talented. He loved God and his family and his heart was at least as big as he was. Jay was one of the most talented singers I've ever heard, and as a music minister could put together some of the best productions I've ever seen churches do. It struck me the day after he died that not only had we lost our loved one, but that the world lost talent I cannot describe. His former pastor pointed out that Jay could pull off big musical productions in his church that took countless people and hours, because people wanted to be around Jay so they would do what he was doing. Pretty neat way to remember somebody, I thought.
Please pray for us. I know God works ALL things for his good, but right now all is a hard word to stomach. I know God knew this was coming and is not shaken to his core the way we are. I know God will never leave us nor forsake us. I know my sweet family will learn to laugh again. I know that love for each other will see them through. I know more good times will come. I know these things because God said them and I'm going to believe them. But it's hard all the same...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
I've Waited Years for This
Friday morning at some point before sunrise(ish), I realized Allie was in the bed with us, BETWEEN us. The between us part is not that significant considering anytime anyone has crawled in the bed, it has been between us. What was significant, was that I could remember how she got there. I was only slightly puzzled and certainly not bothered enough to lose my last few minutes of sleep worrying about it. When I woke her to get ready for school, I told her that I didn't remember her coming to our bed. She said, "That's because I went in Daddy's di-wection" (she can't say her r's). I think in ten years of being a mother, no one has ever gone "in Daddy's direction." When we moved 2 1/2 years ago, I threatened to sleep on the opposite side of the bed, just to see if they'd walk all the way around to get me. Then I realized that I knew the answer to that and better not upset the laws of nature by sleeping on the wrong side of the bed when I've slept on the right side for all these years. I know every mom has her stories about kids waking her instead of their dad, so here's some encouragement - once a decade they might go in his direction!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
At long last
I can't believe I haven't blogged in over a month. There is, however, good reason. My computer was stolen. Ok, stolen is not the word I'm looking for - more like hijacked. The suspects are 10,7, and 4 and have been known to disguise themselves like this. Don't let the cuteness of the sock hop girl fool ya. She was in on it too.
We have been on Spring Break for 3 1/2 wonderful weeks. Not many people can say that, but we get that luxury thanks to their year round school. It was fun, relaxing, and a great time together. The weather was PERFECT! Not one day was it too cold to play outside. Usually we make a trip to visit family during our breaks, but this time we stayed home. I thought it would make our break seem long and boring, but it really was nice. I took a thousand pictures, but I'll just a share a small portion of them.
For starters, the older two both had friends spend the night, and they really enjoyed that. I have to admit having sleepovers is not my favorite thing to do. I am a little bit selfish there. I figure during the school week they spend more time with their friends than with me, so when they're not in school, I like to spend time with them. But I have to put aside that about once a break and endure. I know...I'm quite the party pooper. Allie's friend joined us the next day, so she wasn't left out. We went McDonald's and let them play along with the younger two and my friend and her two. Yep, eight kids, two adults - we got some strange looks.
Hannah and her friend - a self portrait!
Corey and his bud on the trampoline. While it looks like they are jumping, they were actually doing karate they'd learned at school. Go figure.
Allie and her friend did a puppet show. So cute!
Jon Tyler tackled the park!
We also did the park, a shopping day, a visit from Grandmommmy, bike riding and LOTS of trampoline jumping. Corey learned to ride his bike after much threatening persuasion. That was very exciting accomplishment because even though we took off his training wheels last fall, he had no interest in riding. zero, zilch. I kept telling him how much he'd enjoy it if he could ride without training wheels. Now I can't keep him off of it.
Riding off into the sunset.
There was also the spring consignment sale mixed in there which took a few days of my time, but it was much less painful that this last one. There is just something refreshing about spring clothing and the fact that it takes up WAY less space in the drawers and closets, not to mention the laundry hamper. And miraculously this year it did not freeze after I got all the winter stuff put away.
Of course there was Easter egg hunts, egg dyeing and Easter baskets.
I celebrated another birthday and had a great time with my family. Donnie asked me what I wanted for my birthday and rather than name something just to say I did, I decided I wanted shrubs for my yard. Last year we pulled up these hideously large holly bushed that had been there forever, or at least as long as we've owned this house and never replanted anything. We are about 75% done with that. Pics will follow, I promise because I have found out landscaping is not for wimps and I fully intend on showing off our hard work.
I think that having my computer hijacked was kinda nice. It gave me time with my kids to enjoy this beautiful break - when I could pry them away from Club Penguin and, of all things, ebay. (window shopping, of course) Now they are back in school, but we are dreaming of carefree summer days in the not too distant (42 school days to be exact) future.
We have been on Spring Break for 3 1/2 wonderful weeks. Not many people can say that, but we get that luxury thanks to their year round school. It was fun, relaxing, and a great time together. The weather was PERFECT! Not one day was it too cold to play outside. Usually we make a trip to visit family during our breaks, but this time we stayed home. I thought it would make our break seem long and boring, but it really was nice. I took a thousand pictures, but I'll just a share a small portion of them.
For starters, the older two both had friends spend the night, and they really enjoyed that. I have to admit having sleepovers is not my favorite thing to do. I am a little bit selfish there. I figure during the school week they spend more time with their friends than with me, so when they're not in school, I like to spend time with them. But I have to put aside that about once a break and endure. I know...I'm quite the party pooper. Allie's friend joined us the next day, so she wasn't left out. We went McDonald's and let them play along with the younger two and my friend and her two. Yep, eight kids, two adults - we got some strange looks.
Hannah and her friend - a self portrait!
Corey and his bud on the trampoline. While it looks like they are jumping, they were actually doing karate they'd learned at school. Go figure.
Allie and her friend did a puppet show. So cute!
Jon Tyler tackled the park!
We also did the park, a shopping day, a visit from Grandmommmy, bike riding and LOTS of trampoline jumping. Corey learned to ride his bike after much
Riding off into the sunset.
There was also the spring consignment sale mixed in there which took a few days of my time, but it was much less painful that this last one. There is just something refreshing about spring clothing and the fact that it takes up WAY less space in the drawers and closets, not to mention the laundry hamper. And miraculously this year it did not freeze after I got all the winter stuff put away.
Of course there was Easter egg hunts, egg dyeing and Easter baskets.
I celebrated another birthday and had a great time with my family. Donnie asked me what I wanted for my birthday and rather than name something just to say I did, I decided I wanted shrubs for my yard. Last year we pulled up these hideously large holly bushed that had been there forever, or at least as long as we've owned this house and never replanted anything. We are about 75% done with that. Pics will follow, I promise because I have found out landscaping is not for wimps and I fully intend on showing off our hard work.
I think that having my computer hijacked was kinda nice. It gave me time with my kids to enjoy this beautiful break - when I could pry them away from Club Penguin and, of all things, ebay. (window shopping, of course) Now they are back in school, but we are dreaming of carefree summer days in the not too distant (42 school days to be exact) future.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Science Projects
As promised here are the finished science projects. I am very proud of both kids and the effort they put into them.
Corey also wrote this paragraph about his penguin habitat.
"The animal I chose is the penguin. It lives in the wet and cold Antarctica. A penguin's prey is a fish. A penguin drinks salt water. Penguins can be at least 4 feet tall and weigh 90 pounds, but some are much smaller. The smallest penguins are 16 inches tall and weigh about 2 pounds. Penguins are my favorite animal."
I was impressed that he is learning to use details and voice in his writing, and that he can write a good paragraph from start to finish. I learned today in his teacher conference that he is on grade level, and in fact a little ahead of it for this point in second grade. Since he was in 3 year old preschool, he has been capable of things that I didn't even know he could do because he is my somewhat reserved child.
This one, however, is the "showoff" and I have always known what she was capable of because she ALWAYS tells us. I wouldn't have it any other way. Her project was really fun. She pretty much did it all by herself, especially the display part.
Corey also wrote this paragraph about his penguin habitat.
"The animal I chose is the penguin. It lives in the wet and cold Antarctica. A penguin's prey is a fish. A penguin drinks salt water. Penguins can be at least 4 feet tall and weigh 90 pounds, but some are much smaller. The smallest penguins are 16 inches tall and weigh about 2 pounds. Penguins are my favorite animal."
I was impressed that he is learning to use details and voice in his writing, and that he can write a good paragraph from start to finish. I learned today in his teacher conference that he is on grade level, and in fact a little ahead of it for this point in second grade. Since he was in 3 year old preschool, he has been capable of things that I didn't even know he could do because he is my somewhat reserved child.
This one, however, is the "showoff" and I have always known what she was capable of because she ALWAYS tells us. I wouldn't have it any other way. Her project was really fun. She pretty much did it all by herself, especially the display part.
Concrete part 2
The concreke (as Allie says) is done. We will have to wait on the highway dept. to come and fix their part at the end, and we cannot drive on it til the weekend, but we are so excited about this. My kids couldn't wait to try it out Tuesday afternoon.
After...
Hannah & Allie give test it out on their bikes.
Corey tries it out on the scooter thingys we scored at a yard sale last spring.
Not to be outdone, Jon Tyler tries one out, too.
Our neighbors have always been gracious about letting our kids use their bikes and scooters on their concrete slab and they have used it as their turn around spot for their bikes. I hope he realizes that now it will be impossible to keep them off. I don't think he cares. I think a poet once wrote, "Good fences make good neighbors." I guess in our case, good concreke makes good neighbors.
After...
Hannah & Allie give test it out on their bikes.
Corey tries it out on the scooter thingys we scored at a yard sale last spring.
Not to be outdone, Jon Tyler tries one out, too.
Our neighbors have always been gracious about letting our kids use their bikes and scooters on their concrete slab and they have used it as their turn around spot for their bikes. I hope he realizes that now it will be impossible to keep them off. I don't think he cares. I think a poet once wrote, "Good fences make good neighbors." I guess in our case, good concreke makes good neighbors.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
March, Projects, and Cement!
I'm procrastinating so I thought it would be a good time to update my blog. Graciously, March has arrived. Of course it snowed on the second day of March, which satisfied my snow fetish. Now the weather seems to be on an upswing and believe me, we are ever so grateful for that. Only 7 days til Spring Break!!
Both kids have projects due tomorrow and both are pretty much finished. Hannah had her first ever science fair project and has worked really hard on it. She tested the effectiveness of the Wii Fit hula hoop vs. the old fashioned hula hoop to see which raised heart rates more. (Hint: video games do have some benefits.) Corey had to create an animal habitat, and he, of course, chose a penguin. I'm going to snap some pictures to post hopefully tomorrow, along with the paragraph Corey wrote about penguins. Good stuff for a second grader.
Yesterday was an exciting day around here. We have wanted to pave our shared driveway for about 3 years or more. With all the rain this year, it is nearly washing away. Our neighbor who shares it (and owns a new truck - lol) finally decided he'd like to paved too. Yesterday it happened. Or started happening actually. They are working as I type to finish and will probably be working all day. I'm adding concrete finisher to the list of jobs I hope I never have to work, along with bra fit specialist and gastroenterologist nurse (stories for another time). They worked for over twelve hours yesterday, including in the dark and were still working when I went to bed. It was pretty fun for the kids to watch. Here's a few shots from the day.
One last shot of the "old" driveway. As my neighbor said, Thank the Lord.
Prepping the driveway was fun to watch.
The Onlookers
Pouring the first concrete
Almost done with the first part
This made realize that I need to do some more blogging about our house. It is quite a story in itself and I will get to that soon. If you don't the story of our house, stay tuned.
In other news, I nearly ran over myself yesterday. Literally. I can laugh about this now, but at the time, it was pretty scary. I was in a rush (of course) and started backing out only to realize I needed to move the wagon out of the way. So I put the car into what I thought was park and got out. I stepped a few feet and saw the van rolling forward. My first reaction was to try and stop it but I could get back in so it ended up dragging me along with it. After knocking the grill, a kerosene heater, the pushmower and my double stroller off the carport and into the yard, it stopped. Other than a few bruises and some pavement burn, all is well. I think literally an angel must have stopped my van, because I can't figure any other way it could have stopped. The two biggest casualties are the stroller which lost a wheel and my favorite thrift store (lol) pants, so I am thankful to God for protection(even if I am mad about my pants).
Well, the laundry isn't doing itself so I guess I better pull this to a close. Thanks for reading.
Both kids have projects due tomorrow and both are pretty much finished. Hannah had her first ever science fair project and has worked really hard on it. She tested the effectiveness of the Wii Fit hula hoop vs. the old fashioned hula hoop to see which raised heart rates more. (Hint: video games do have some benefits.) Corey had to create an animal habitat, and he, of course, chose a penguin. I'm going to snap some pictures to post hopefully tomorrow, along with the paragraph Corey wrote about penguins. Good stuff for a second grader.
Yesterday was an exciting day around here. We have wanted to pave our shared driveway for about 3 years or more. With all the rain this year, it is nearly washing away. Our neighbor who shares it (and owns a new truck - lol) finally decided he'd like to paved too. Yesterday it happened. Or started happening actually. They are working as I type to finish and will probably be working all day. I'm adding concrete finisher to the list of jobs I hope I never have to work, along with bra fit specialist and gastroenterologist nurse (stories for another time). They worked for over twelve hours yesterday, including in the dark and were still working when I went to bed. It was pretty fun for the kids to watch. Here's a few shots from the day.
One last shot of the "old" driveway. As my neighbor said, Thank the Lord.
Prepping the driveway was fun to watch.
The Onlookers
Pouring the first concrete
Almost done with the first part
This made realize that I need to do some more blogging about our house. It is quite a story in itself and I will get to that soon. If you don't the story of our house, stay tuned.
In other news, I nearly ran over myself yesterday. Literally. I can laugh about this now, but at the time, it was pretty scary. I was in a rush (of course) and started backing out only to realize I needed to move the wagon out of the way. So I put the car into what I thought was park and got out. I stepped a few feet and saw the van rolling forward. My first reaction was to try and stop it but I could get back in so it ended up dragging me along with it. After knocking the grill, a kerosene heater, the pushmower and my double stroller off the carport and into the yard, it stopped. Other than a few bruises and some pavement burn, all is well. I think literally an angel must have stopped my van, because I can't figure any other way it could have stopped. The two biggest casualties are the stroller which lost a wheel and my favorite thrift store (lol) pants, so I am thankful to God for protection(even if I am mad about my pants).
Well, the laundry isn't doing itself so I guess I better pull this to a close. Thanks for reading.
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